"That looks fun." The sentence that the little girl had told me. I had wanted to talk to her more, but I never got the chance. Mei had other ideas, quickly tearing into me for the last thing I said.
Honestly, I didn't put much thought into that. I mean, how would I have come to the conclusion that while deaf that anything I said would reach the ears of the child in front of me. I didn't think she knew how to read lips, much less have any way of technically hearing me. So when Mei went postal on me, I had mixed feelings. First of all, it wasn't her fault, don't punish her for that. But she did remind me that I was the one that created the rift between us. I felt a bit hollow, because a part of me wanted that back. Though from the words I heard, it sounded more like she'd hate being around me at all. It's like we'd flipped around, but to be honest, I was never mad. I had my own reasons, but now wasn't the time to talk about that.
She seemed like she wanted to tear into me harder, but something stopped her. I followed her gaze down, noticing as she did that the girl was crying. Oh. And this is my fault as well. So of course between the two of them, my face crumpled. After hearing a little mildly apologetic line from Mei, I left her with an "I will want to talk to you later. There's a lot we need to discuss about work." Something that wouldn't sound off to the girl if she could hear me, but would make perfect sense to Mei, even if she didn't want to hear it. I tried to remove the pain from my voice, because I understood that I messed it all up, and her feelings were at least justified if not completely necessary. After all, why would she let some kid who ditched her come back into her life as an adult?
As she left, I felt no reason to stay at the beach either. I couldn't exactly enjoy my day there if I knew there was something I should take some time to seriously think about. So I went home. I locked myself in my apartment, quietly taking in everything that had happened. I dunno. I didn't ever really think about what I'd done until now. I guess I tried to forget that part of my life instead of blaming myself incessantly. I wasn't ready to deal with it then. Perhaps now was a good time?